Sunday, April 8, 2012

The Resurrection of The Blog.

Good morning, good afternoon and good night. 


Wow, I haven't posted anything since 2010 huh? Fast forward to 2012: Easter Sunday, 3:09 a.m. Moreno Valley, California. I am currently sitting in the upstairs hallway of my parents house. I can't sleep, there is nothing good on t.v. and my room is a disaster. 


It's a good thing I didn't post about my shitty year (aka 2011) or else it just would have been a complete bitching spree on my part. Let me summarize it for you in a nutshell: more downs than ups, more pain than relief, more sorrow than joy, blah, blah and BLAH. In the words of Jay-Z, it's "HOOOOVA!" Praise Allah, Jesus, Buddha, or even if you don't praise a God, rejoice in the gift/game called LIFE.


If it's one thing that these past two years have taught me it's this: I work better as a individual rather than with a counter part. In other words, I have come to the conclusion that I should never get married..... EVER! Haaaaaa. In complete honesty, I am numb.


Numb? Yes, numb. I have been slapped in the face a mere dozen, two dozen, three dozen times. 2011 was the year of the "bitch slap" for me. Pardon my French, but I think I regrew or finally grew into my backbone. Anyway, back to my "life."


I am Amy M. Gonzales, with an S, not a Z.
I am 20 years old, with a 34 year old mentality.
I am an assistant manager at Zumiez (represent).  
I still don't like green beans and grape flavored anything.
I still suck at math and I love the smell of gasoline.
I still want to do something with journalism in my future career, hence why I am typing this.
I fell in love with dance all over again.
I lost contact with people I thought would, and I quote "always be there for me."
I am still short, talk fast and LOVE quesadillas. 


Damn, I'm really giving information right now as if I am doing one of those Myspace surveys you would post on a bulletin, circa 2004 - 2008. 


I am closing this post with a message to all that read this (I really hope people still read books, it saddens me that I haven't read a good one in ages, wait what I meant to say was I really hope people still know how to read, but my mind wandered off, damnit). 


My mom has constantly told me this for the past few days: "Easter is suppose to be a time of renewal." Call it whatever the hell you want, but shoot, I'm ready to just let bygones be bygones with people and keep it moving. 


Stress is stupid. Work can be stupid. People can just be down right stupid. Money is stupid. I'm just going to associate the word "stupid" after every sentence now to sound like a BAMF (if you don't know what that acronym means look it up on UrbanDictionary.com). 


Okay, now I'm tired and should really go to bed. Stay tuned for more on this blog and the BBM Radio blog. Remember to keep it posi and don't believe the hype.


Buena suerte,


-Amy G. 


Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Usually.

I don't use my blog as a source of ranting and raving, but I feel as though this time it is best to do so. To sum up all of my mishaps, I am confused beyond all recognition, but really who isn't at this point in their life?


The world has so many misfortunes lately, some greater than others, but none the less, effecting how people act and communicate towards one another. I'm not here to psychoanalyze my life or say that my opinion is greater than someone else's, I just came here to type down my thoughts. 


There is this knot in my stomach, it's never ending it seems. I feel as though I have no one sometimes, besides God. Yeah, I said it no one. I understand the concept of being alone and I'm fine with it, but I need solidarity and people to rely on. I feel as though I give way more than I receive. I'll go out of my way to do something for someone, but if I ask for a simple favor, it's asking too much. This may seem petty and so miniscule, but I think it's been branded upon me since the day I was conceived or something. Either that or it's just the age group I am currently surrounding myself with.


Relationships, holy shit. I think some people were meant for them, but I obviously wasn't at this point in my life. They take EQUAL amounts of time and aren't a walk in the park. I give credit to where credit is due, but let's face it; when something shitty happens we have to realize that there are always TWO sides of people. I think of it as Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde effect. You see a person's true colors come out when you tell them something they don't want to hear. They start to twist things around and make you seem like you're the bad guy, but in all reality, shit happens. People fall too fast or you thought you really knew the person. It's like a mind game messing with your emotions to the extreme. One person can't be more busy than the other, one person cannot be more "in love/like" with the other, it's all about BALANCE. Since I'm a Libra (even though this is irrelevant) I'm throwing this out there, the libra scales balance out, when I'm thrown off balance, my mood and train of thought is messed up. I've always wanted to make peace or still remain "cool" with the guys I have dated, but then I quickly learned that sometimes they either want it all or nothing at all. I'm not use to that, but then people started telling me that in life that's going to happen. It sucks, but what can you do? Sacrifice your happiness for someone else? The world waits for no one. I think that is why I am use to having guys as friends, rather than boyfriends. I currently feel like if I live and do my own thing, this will help me in the long run. 


School, okay I'm not trying to sound like a hardcore nerd or anything, but school is gonna help you in life, period end of story. Doesn't mean you have to become a neurosurgeon or physicist, but it stimulates your brain. I have a love/hate relationship with it, I'm pretty sure half the people I know do too. I feel like that helps me to find what I want to do in life, if things do not work out with journalism or dance. I've considered going into psychology or sociology if things start to change. 


Dance, I shouldn't have to repeat myself, but I'm in love with the idea and thought of dance. It is one of the ways to help me cope with anxiety, stress, heart break, happiness, etc. Not dancing for 8 months made me grow to love and appreciate it even more.


Work, Zumiez was my first real job, besides teaching little kids how to dance. From the beginning till now it has changed so much, but I have ended up with so many new friends, skills and memories. It's gonna be hard to leave one day.


Relationship with God, I'm trying to work on getting back into church. I'm not the perfect person, but I do try to live by morals and seek guidance when I feel lost. It'll take time, but I'm willing to work on it.


Family, pray for my mom because she has a tough week coming up for her and her health has not been in tip top shape. I will discuss this later when things get better. A few of my close friends know about what is going on, and I will keep it at that.


I'll probably update this later, but for now I am going to bed. Enjoi.


-Amy G.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Can I Get a What, What?

Well, well, well... Looks like I'm back at it again. Here I am on this blog typing my thoughts. Thanks to the lovely Brittani Peyton, I now have my own little red journal I can carry around with me on a daily basis. Whether it is to write a quick note or draw a picture or just say something long and boring to clear my mind. 


I feel like life is slowly, but surely coming together. Talking with my counselor really made me realize I only have about 9 more classes till I can transfer out of RCC. That may seem like a lot, but each big semester (like spring/fall) I typically take 4 to 5 classes. The only problem I have is that the majority of classes I have left to take consist of math. :( If you know me well enough, I'm not very fond of math. I am an English person. She basically summed up for me that I need a political science, physical science, 3 journalism classes, film/media class and 3 math classes. It's gonna be a tough school year ahead of me for the next couple semesters, but with the right state of mind, I think I'll be out of the Murder by early 2012 (if all goes according to plan). 


I've had to give up certain things to benefit myself, but that's life yaaa feel? I feel bad, but my mind has to be focused 110%. Doesn't mean I'll be m.i.a. but the world stops for no one. Anyway, watching this video really impacted me. Twyla Tharp (if ya'll don't know who that is) was one of the first females, besides Martha Graham that put contemporary dance on the map. With her own style, she impacted the dance world tremendously. Her quotes and what she lives by is something I admire. I would love to have the opportunity to meet her, or take one of her classes. That would be a dream. I look up to her and this 18 minute interview would be a dream job I'd love to have one day. Enjoi!


Sunday, July 18, 2010

Nancy's Birthday. :)


Stopped by River Kwae on Nancy's bday for some Thai food, this is what went down.